malissa4u.com

To be compassionate or to not be compassionate that is the question of the day…..If you don’t know by now then let me inform you, one of my fav adult sites is BestGFE…when I first moved out here from the West coast 2 years ago this month….I first learnt about BestGFE thru a wonderful member who I’ll call King(another alias for those that don’t know)….King introduced me to the site after finding me online and I immediately fell in love with their sandbox….why? Because it reminded me of the first adult site I  joined when I first became a provider out on the West Coast…it has a great community full of helpful men and women and yes as in most communities there are plenty of frenemies but the good times totally outweighed the bad so you could say I grew a soft spot for BestGFE….anyways I was on there today just lurking for a while when I came upon a thread about a provider who had left the Industry to only want to come back…when this provider left several months ago she left on a bad note…accusing plenty of hobbyists of being shady characters and in a not so discreet way implying how she despised the hobby(an American term used to describe The Adult Industry)….to cut a long tale short she was flamed on a lot of sites and then she disappeared….only to resurface this week….now after reading several of the comments about her on the thread I decided to come to her defense(who knows why I do what I do sometimes) and well a debate started about misguided compassion which has left me pondering when is a person able to  judge whether their compassion is relevant or not without prejudging a person they’ve never met and with no regard to the persons situation at the time in question.

Can we even judge cyber personalities having never met the person behind the persona?

And really when does a persona’s character ever match up to the real deal???

So the last time I visited White Plains I got to hang out with one of my fav latinos…Sexy Spicy O(for safety reasons I cannot disclose anyones name)…gotta love O…everything he does has a certain “je nais ce qua”..O is one of those stylish guys, the GQ male who knows his fashion as well as what would look good on a woman…he’s sweet, deliciously single and we always have fun when we hang out…always.

O booked me for his usual 3 hour date but this time we sampled dessert first since we were going to spend our time shopping to celebrate my belated graduation and birthday which O was unable to attend.

A simply breathtaking necklace from Tiffanys…the latest Jimmy Choo boots (O likes my naughty secretary outfit and thought it needed an extra oomph to complete the image)…..I gotta tell ya a girl could get spoiled living this kind of way….especially when you’re a girl like me…someone who’s always had to fight to get ahead in life….but you know what I loved the most about that date….the way O made me feel…insanely special and for that I am truly blessed….un beso mi amor.  xox

Right now I’m listening to “LoveSong” by The Cure…..very emo(emotional for those that don’t know)….but there’s something seductively sexy about a sensitive guy….it’s a great turn on for me when a guy keeps it real about how he feels…that to me represents inner strength…..ok enough about what kind of guy I like….I’m in the mood for mayhem…the week I’ve had…it seems to me the more out there I am the more obstacles head my way and it’s cool..I just wish they were the meaningful kind of obstacles….the kind I can take with me when I’m out of the sex industry and not obstacles soley related to my work environment…ok some facts about me for the haters…you know you’re reading and you know I know who you are…being nice doesn’t mean I’m naive…being kind doesn’t mean you can step all over me…being smart doesn’t mean I’m obnoxious….being a provider doesn’t mean I need to be saved….being informative doesn’t mean I don’t know when I’m being used or played…shit does it have to be this confusing…it’s like because of what I do for a living I shouldn’t have scruples or any moral sense…that’s what I dislike the most about our industry….the constant ignorance of  the greedy…their immature games…the way people try to push buttons to get a reaction, as one smart provider would say “A village was missing an idiot”(love that fuckin expression…thanks MD)…nowadays being good at your job just doesn’t cut it anymore….sex has become quite political on these adult hobbyist boards and it’s sickening to see how shady some folks have become…..for those that know me and are reading you know I’m simply venting and for those that don’t know me….I Am Venting…see it’s my blog and my words…no one can change any words or scores here…here I’m the boss and if you don’t like what I have to say move the fuck along….talking about my blog, I recently got contacted by an international adult website based in the UK and they were wondering if they could feature my blogs on their site….how bizarre, Diary Of A Call Girl this isn’t…this is simply me being me…whether you try to copy my style or even imitate my techniques…there’s only one me and I’m here for a while..so for all the real readers…sit back…kick off your shoes…undo that tie and get ready for one hell of a ride and for all the jealous bitter people out there that have no life and keep trying to live off mine…keep hating cause I’m only gonna keep gettin better ;)

xox

You’re in my thoughts and prayers as are your family…..Thank you for all the times you listened to me, for the tough advice you gave and for those lunch dates were we giggled like school kids…the many laughs we shared and the wonderful tales of Miki you would often reminisce with such passion.

I wish I could’ve returned your last missed call instead of taking for granted that you would be here today…I wish I didn’t have my phone off when you called…..but what I wish most of all is that your heart is finally where you want it to be…with the one you never stopped loving.

You will be missed by many but the memories of your warmth and compassion will never be erased.  

xox

I’m a sucker for silly stories…hope everyone has a wonderful weekend..I’m off to the Borgata Poker Tournament with one of my favorite European friends…here’s hoping I don’t go broke…Sorry I haven’t written in a while but the past couple of months have been mad hectic however once I get back from Atlantic City I will make it a point to come back to blogging….for now enjoy this tale and remember this life is lived only once and it is what YOU make of it….much love. xox
TOKYO: A 43-year-old Japanese woman whose sudden divorce in a virtual game world made her so angry that she killed her online husband’s digital persona has been arrested on suspicion of hacking, police said Thursday.

The woman, who is jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his identification and password to log onto popular interactive game “Maple Story” to carry out the virtual murder in mid-May, a police official in northern Sapporo said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

“I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.

The woman had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.
She has not yet been formally charged, but if convicted could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000.

Players in “Maple Story” raise and manipulate digital images called “avatars” that represent themselves, while engaging in relationships, social activities and fighting against monsters and other obstacles.

The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married, and killed the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his beloved online avatar was dead.

Writing this blog has been quite therapeutic for me….did I mention I’ve also started meditating in the mornings…got to…..this industry can mess with your head if you let it and to remain top of your game you gotta have a clear head!

So today was a tough day….there was confusion over the location this morning, totally messing up my whole schedule but luckily one of my friends saved the day, my screener is once again threatening to quit because the work load is becoming too much for her… so ask me what I did to improve my day and mood….I acted stupid…yup that’s right…instead of keeping my head down and keeping to myself, I got online and bitched at some chick for being an instigator in a thread I didn’t even care to read….sometimes I wonder how I became an undergrad….I’m not saying this chick didn’t deserve it cause she did but I did it for all the wrong reasons….

Thank you Em for always listening and for clearing my head….you’re such good people baby girl and I appreciate you a lot and I’m glad I called when I did…..xox

I’m soo exhausted I can’t sleep….I really need to, I have a photo shoot tomorrow and I need to look alive or else A will throw a fit…A’s passionate about his art.shit it’s been over a year now he’s been crafting it…I spent all day shopping for new outfits and tonight I took care of my weekly chores that had been piling up….wtf was I thinking helping plan a party in less than 2 months for an insane amount of people….it’s soo much work, it’s time consuming and having to start from rock bottom well let’s just say I’m mentally drained, my mind can’t handle much more party info….T if you’re reading this I just wanna say thank you baby for helping me as much as you have, guys like you are one in a milli and you friggin rock…You’re an awesome friend and lately your wisdom has been my strength…..why is it that all the good guys are taken??? Seriously most of my close friends are male and all of them are in relationships..I guess that’s why the friendships work so well but being single I tend to notice guys like them are pretty rare…I can’t complain though, lately a lot of people been soo sweet…a recent example…..this gentleman from a review board noticed a quote I had on my signature, one by the Dalai Lama, when he saw me he bought along a Dalai Lama gift….the fact that he noticed such a small detail blew me away, you’re one classy dude N.

Ok gotta go get some z’s…wish me luck…xox

 They say in life you should choose your friends carefully and your enemies will choose you.

Yet I like to live a simple life. Y’know the kind where I wake up, be a mom, go to work, come home, go to bed.

For some strange reason I can never seem to avoid the haters and their ignorance..I keep thinking back to that term “With much that is given much is required”….how soo true.

But I’m too tired to play kiddie games, go for it…hate me if you want, waste your time….drain your energy, make up rumours….whatever turns you on man…whatever floats your boat.

But know this…..kharma…she’s one hell of a bitch, there will always be a price to pay for your actions…one day you’ll wake up and smell the coffee….you’ll see you’re miserable…consumed by hate and envy.

As for me, I will have progressed onto greener pastures.  xox

I exist in the depths of solitude

pondering my true goal

trying to find peace of mind

and still preserve my soul

constantly yearning to be accepted

and from all receive respect

never compromising but sometimes risking

 and that is my only regret

a young heart with an old soul

how can there be peace

how can I be in the depths of solitude

when there are two inside of me

this duo within me causes

the perfect opportunity

 to learn and live twice as fast

 as those who accept simplicity

Today I reconnected with one hell of a true friend who had to disappear for a while because haters were causing her drama and trying to mess up her life as well as her sanity. We talked for over 5 hours and it sure felt good unleashing our burdens to one another while sharing past experiences.   

Sometimes it gets hard making real friends with the women in this industry but I’ve been lucky. I guess it’s cause I’ve always categorized the women I’ve met into 3 parts and saved myself plenty of unnecessary drama.

1- Realies…..the ladies you can be 100% honest with and who in time become like sisters, the ones who never repeat what you say, they honestly listen when you need to talk, they help you selflessly and are there to hold your hand each time you fuck up.

2- L’élite….the smart sexy ladies who have blessed me and others with their intense knowledge & wisdom. Women who I consider  close acquaintances…my distant admiration of them never tarnished by close encounters. These women are the reason so many of us have learnt to become smart successful providers.

3- The Dqs….the ladies that love drama, they create it wherever they go and to whomever they speak to. These dqs are the loudest most ignorant back stabbers who survive on promoting bs instead of facts. I avoid this type as much as I can. Life is too short to be surrounded with this much negativity.                                                                                                                         

I can count on one hand how many women in this industry I consider true friends, I can also count on one hand how many times my life has been disrupted by drama.  xox