malissa4u.com

Writing this blog has been quite therapeutic for me….did I mention I’ve also started meditating in the mornings…got to…..this industry can mess with your head if you let it and to remain top of your game you gotta have a clear head!

So today was a tough day….there was confusion over the location this morning, totally messing up my whole schedule but luckily one of my friends saved the day, my screener is once again threatening to quit because the work load is becoming too much for her… so ask me what I did to improve my day and mood….I acted stupid…yup that’s right…instead of keeping my head down and keeping to myself, I got online and bitched at some chick for being an instigator in a thread I didn’t even care to read….sometimes I wonder how I became an undergrad….I’m not saying this chick didn’t deserve it cause she did but I did it for all the wrong reasons….

Thank you Em for always listening and for clearing my head….you’re such good people baby girl and I appreciate you a lot and I’m glad I called when I did…..xox

I’m soo exhausted I can’t sleep….I really need to, I have a photo shoot tomorrow and I need to look alive or else A will throw a fit…A’s passionate about his art.shit it’s been over a year now he’s been crafting it…I spent all day shopping for new outfits and tonight I took care of my weekly chores that had been piling up….wtf was I thinking helping plan a party in less than 2 months for an insane amount of people….it’s soo much work, it’s time consuming and having to start from rock bottom well let’s just say I’m mentally drained, my mind can’t handle much more party info….T if you’re reading this I just wanna say thank you baby for helping me as much as you have, guys like you are one in a milli and you friggin rock…You’re an awesome friend and lately your wisdom has been my strength…..why is it that all the good guys are taken??? Seriously most of my close friends are male and all of them are in relationships..I guess that’s why the friendships work so well but being single I tend to notice guys like them are pretty rare…I can’t complain though, lately a lot of people been soo sweet…a recent example…..this gentleman from a review board noticed a quote I had on my signature, one by the Dalai Lama, when he saw me he bought along a Dalai Lama gift….the fact that he noticed such a small detail blew me away, you’re one classy dude N.

Ok gotta go get some z’s…wish me luck…xox

 They say in life you should choose your friends carefully and your enemies will choose you.

Yet I like to live a simple life. Y’know the kind where I wake up, be a mom, go to work, come home, go to bed.

For some strange reason I can never seem to avoid the haters and their ignorance..I keep thinking back to that term “With much that is given much is required”….how soo true.

But I’m too tired to play kiddie games, go for it…hate me if you want, waste your time….drain your energy, make up rumours….whatever turns you on man…whatever floats your boat.

But know this…..kharma…she’s one hell of a bitch, there will always be a price to pay for your actions…one day you’ll wake up and smell the coffee….you’ll see you’re miserable…consumed by hate and envy.

As for me, I will have progressed onto greener pastures.  xox

I exist in the depths of solitude

pondering my true goal

trying to find peace of mind

and still preserve my soul

constantly yearning to be accepted

and from all receive respect

never compromising but sometimes risking

 and that is my only regret

a young heart with an old soul

how can there be peace

how can I be in the depths of solitude

when there are two inside of me

this duo within me causes

the perfect opportunity

 to learn and live twice as fast

 as those who accept simplicity

Today I reconnected with one hell of a true friend who had to disappear for a while because haters were causing her drama and trying to mess up her life as well as her sanity. We talked for over 5 hours and it sure felt good unleashing our burdens to one another while sharing past experiences.   

Sometimes it gets hard making real friends with the women in this industry but I’ve been lucky. I guess it’s cause I’ve always categorized the women I’ve met into 3 parts and saved myself plenty of unnecessary drama.

1- Realies…..the ladies you can be 100% honest with and who in time become like sisters, the ones who never repeat what you say, they honestly listen when you need to talk, they help you selflessly and are there to hold your hand each time you fuck up.

2- L’élite….the smart sexy ladies who have blessed me and others with their intense knowledge & wisdom. Women who I consider  close acquaintances…my distant admiration of them never tarnished by close encounters. These women are the reason so many of us have learnt to become smart successful providers.

3- The Dqs….the ladies that love drama, they create it wherever they go and to whomever they speak to. These dqs are the loudest most ignorant back stabbers who survive on promoting bs instead of facts. I avoid this type as much as I can. Life is too short to be surrounded with this much negativity.                                                                                                                         

I can count on one hand how many women in this industry I consider true friends, I can also count on one hand how many times my life has been disrupted by drama.  xox

The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named 
Guido, was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed 
to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed 
to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after 
some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled 
her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a 
smile, ‘So, you finish?’
 
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, ‘No.’
 
Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. 
This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of
passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and 
asked, ‘You finish?’

 Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to 
turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked 
again, ‘You finish?’
 
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispered in his ear, 

                                 ’No, I Norwegian.’

I’m fiercely loyal to those I care for and love.

I dislike any form of drama, instigators, back stabbers and haters. Life is way too short to waste a moment on negativity.

I’m find I’m passionate about art, good music, intellectual debates followed by intense sex.

Before I had my child I was a stripper.

Before I became a stripper my dream was to become a famous artist, my inspirations were Michelangelo, Pablo Picasso & Fafi.

I don’t like sushi.

By my 21st birthday I had travelled all over Europe & South America. I fell in love with Spain & Greece, especially with their culture & their history.

I speak 4 languages. English, Spanish, Tagalog…bet you can’t guess the 4th one!

I’m a sports fanatic.

Malissa is not my real name.

 xox

A lovely parable, a movie with unusual sweetness and quirky charm, it’s story stays with you long after the movie’s over.

Ryan Gosling as always blew me away.

This film is extremely thought-provoking, wonderfully strange, and ultimately redemptive.

Several weeks ago I was having car issues, feeling pretty pissed at life one morning, I called a cab to take me into Midtown.

I got into the cab and after instructing Mr Cab Man on where to go, he asked how my day was going.

I started to bitch about how stressful life was, being a single mom, work, scared about what life would throw my way now that I had graduated etc…..

Mr Cab Man who was in his mid 30’s listened to me rant and then started to tell me about his life.

How he had left home young due to a violent father, he had gotten out of the ghetto, enlisted in the army and watched one of his best friends get blown up during the gulf war. He then proceeded to tell me how he had come back home to the states and had bad credit cause he forgot to pay some bills prior to leaving for the middle east.

He then met a girl, got her pregnant and they became homeless due to his drinking problems which started once he came back to the states. 

 One year after the birth of his son, Mr Cab Man gets his family out of their shelter and into a studio apartment in Queens. Mr Cab Man then looks at me and says “No matter what life throws at ya, you gotta be able to get back up on your feet, you feel me?”

I left a huge tip and got out of that cab feeling like a complete asshole.

How could I complain about my stupid issues when here was a man who had been to hell and back and he was still able to smile and appreciate the simple things in life, like his one year old boy’s smile, or the fact that he had a kitchen to cook in.

Thank you Mr Cab Man, thank you for reminding me that life is meant to be appreciated regardless of the obstacles we face, and while we may never get it right the first time around who says we can’t keep trying till we do.

PS….Mr Cab Man quit drinking the day they moved into the shelter.

I’m craving pomegranate mojitos, good music and dancing drunk till sunrise.

Now if only me and my friends could get our schedules to coincide…… xox